Movie Review – Star Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Our marathon continues with the second episode, Attack of the Clones.

Attack of the Clones, has a lot of problems and one the biggest ones is the writing. I didn’t find myself enjoying this one as much as I did enjoy The Phantom Menace. See while both movies have a lot of problems, The Phantom Menace was able to keep me entertained at least. Attack of the Clones just left me so frustrated with all the potential it had to be great, but the writing and then the acting of this bad writing just makes the film not as enjoyable as it should be.
Now, beneath the cut is my attempt at trying to give you all a cohesive explanation of my feelings on this film, but I think it comes across as incoherent rambling. I hope you all are able to follow what I was trying to say.

[IF THERE IS EVEN THE SLIGHTEST POSSIBILITY THAT YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THESE FILMS YET THEN BE WARNED THERE WILL BE SPOILERS BELOW]

Pros

• The opening sequence with the decoy being killed was a great way to illustrate not only how at risk Padme’s life is, but that these handmaidens that risk their lives pretending to be her do mean quite a bit to her. I’m sure if her guard hadn’t pulled her away, Padme wouldn’t have just left her handmaidens body lying there, but her character cares a lot about doing her duty, so she had to leave her.
• Once again, the costuming for Padme in this film is perfection. Every costume Padme wears is beautiful and probably was a little better for Natalie to wear compared to her costumes in The Phantom Menace.
• Their were only two scenes in this film that I either believed the love story or thought they were cute together. The first was when Anakin pretended to be hurt, then the two laughed and rolled around in the meadow. That was really cute, although I couldn’t believe Padme fell for it, but I can let that slide. The other scene I believed not only the love story, but Natalie’s portrayal was when Padme confessed her love to Anakin.
• Padme looked like such a badass during parts of the assembly scene and during the arena scene. I loved how she got, I believe it was a hair pin, to unlock her shackles. It just showcased how resourceful she is in a crisis. Then throughout the big fight in the execution arena, she was just so good at handling herself.

Cons

• I don’t think I mentioned this is my previous review, but I really hate that Yoda is CGI and not a puppet. He just never looks right every time he’s on screen. Also, the CGI still looked bad in this one, just like it did in the first one and the amount of CGI sets were ridiculous and the artificial look of the sets was obvious.
• When the poisonous slug things are trying to kill Padme, If R2-D2 sensed something in Padme’s room, why wouldn’t it move around and look everywhere to make sure nothing is in her room?
• Okay, the fact that Jar Jar Binks is still in these movies is annoying, but the fact that he has such an important job as Padme’s replacement at the Senate whenever she can’t be present is ridiculous. Who in their right mind would let him have such an important job? He’s an idiot and it’s proven when he, like Padme in the first movie, does exactly what Palpatine wants him to do.
• One of my biggest complaints with this film is Anakin. Now, it’s not about how Hayden Christensen portrays him, well not exactly. I mean, I can admit that there are plenty of scenes where Hayden’s deliver is very wooden and emotionless, but there were also a few scenes where I believed the emotion he was trying to convey.  My biggest problem is how Anakin was written. He comes across as so whiny and incompetent. There are quite a few scenes where he has to show people that he’s a capable Jedi and he doesn’t.
  Some examples are when he argues with Obi-Wan about whether or not they’ll try to figure out who’s trying to kill Padme. This argument just doesn’t hurt Anakin, but Obi-Wan as well. It makes them both look bad in front of Padme and her associates. Then later you have the scene where Padme is packing and Anakin starts to complain to her about the way Obi-Wan treats him like he’s a child. Complaining to the person you’ve been assigned to protect is really not going to make them look at you or your skills in a favorable way.
  Then later when Padme and Anakin arrive on Naboo, he gets so annoyed when Padme comes up with a place for them to hide out. Now, if he had let her know his concerns in private it would be one thing, but he challenges her on this in front of the new Queen of Naboo and the other members of Naboo’s council. Again, his whiny, childish behavior doesn’t make him look like a competent Jedi.
• Now a scene that I felt illustrated what I liked and didn’t like about Hayden’s performance was the scene after his mother dies and he’s talking to Padme. The beginning sounded too whiny, when was complaining about Obi-Wan, but after he admitted he slaughtered all Tuskens responsible for his mothers death, that felt more believable. Now on the other hand, I feel like that scene was weakened even more by the fact that Natalie was so vacant during his whole monologue. I don’t know if that was her choice or if she was told to act that way.
• The other big problem I had with this film was the love story between Padme and Anakin, both in how it was written and acted. First of all, it is so creepy how obsessed with Padme, Anakin is. He is constantly talking about her and giving her this creepy looks. She even tells him to stop because it makes her uncomfortable. The next scene that I think is supposed to illustrate their love story is when they arrive at where they’re going to be staying while on Naboo.
  First of all, the sand monologue was weird and Hayden’s delivery didn’t help it. Then he just starts stroking Padme and Natalie Portman plays this scene with no emotion. You’d think she’d try to portray Padme’s struggle between what she wants and how she doesn’t think this should happen, but no. Natalie just kind of stands there looking at Hayden. They kiss and it’s just a kiss. I felt nothing from it and then Natalie delivers her lines like she was a robot, I mean….I just don’t understand what happened in that scene.
  Then the scene where Anakin pours his heart out to Padme and she basically rejects him was so weird. I hate how he essentially blames Padme for why he loves her. Like it’s not her fault you fell in love with her and if she’s not ready to be with you, then deal with that yourself. It’s so gross to me how he tries to almost guilt Padme into loving him. The other thing about that scene is that while I hated what Anakin was saying, I believed Hayden’s performance. Natalie on the other hand, I didn’t believe at all. There was no emotion behind her words or actions, which I think hurt the scene because you could tell that Hayden was trying to give some life to the awful dialogue.
• Another problem with their love story is that Padme just ignores warning signs that Anakin could be dangerous. First he agrees with the idea of a dictorship and sure he tries to play it off as a joke, but that should have really concerned Padme, since she’s a Senator and is in politics. To find yourself falling for someone who agrees with that mentality should be concerning.
  Then you have the scene where Anakin confesses to Padme that he slaughtered all the Tusken men, women, and children. Padme has no reaction during this scene and comforts Anakin, which I understand her comforting him, but there is no look of concern on her face at all. I mean, Padme should have had a reaction to finding out that the man she has feelings for has slaughtered a whole camp of people, but yet there is nothing.
• Also, the chase scene with the assassin that tried to poison Padme was too long and made no sense. I mean, when Obi-Wan jumped out of the window and clung to the droid that was trying to kill Padme, what was his plan? Did he just expect Anakin to come and save him? I mean Anakin does save Obi-Wan, but still what was Obi-Wan thinking? Then you have Anakin jump out of their ship, then he just so happens to land on the assassins ship, and then Obi-Wan catches Anakin’s lightsaber. How in the world does that make sense or is even plausible?
• The Boba Fett origin story fell flat for me because I just found myself not caring about Jango Fett or young Boba.

Side note:

• I found the first shot interesting. I thought it was weird that they wouldn’t show Padme’s face, but then when it revealed it was a decoy it made more sense, but I found myself wondering what happened to Sabe? In the first film it made it seem that Sabe was one of Padme’s most trusted handmaidens, so where was she?
• “The Chancellor doesn’t seem corrupt.”

• So, Anakin said that it had been 10 years since the last time he’d seen Padme, which makes me wonder how old were their characters in The Phantom Menace and what is the age difference between Padme and Anakin?
• During the chase scene when Anakin jumped out of the ship him and Obi-Wan were in it totally looked like he was on a wire, a la Mission Impossible.
• Still don’t understand how no one can see Palpatine is evil.
• Don’t understand how the Jedi Council didn’t know anything about the clone army. It just makes them look clueless.
• Obi-Wan is horrible at being stealthy and sneaky.
• Who finished building C-3PO?
• Anakin kills a bunch of people, but no one sees him becoming evil?…Okay.
• How did Yoda sense Anakin’s pain, but Obi-Wan didn’t?
• Okay, how come whenever Obi-Wan gives Anakin orders, he fights/argues/disobeys him, but when Windu gives him orders he’s ready to follow them and tries to make Padme follow them as well. I mean, what the heck?
• “The Jedi would be aware of it.” Really? Because the whole movie you guys have been so clueless.
• The assembly line scene was a little long and the C-3PO stuff wasn’t really necessary at all.
• Why is the C-3PO stuff necessary during the big fight scene?

In Conclusion

So, I understand that that was a lot to read and process, but I just had a lot of thoughts about Attack of the Clones. Like I said above, my biggest complaints about this film is the writing and then the actors trying to bring this writing to life. I feel like if they didn’t try to rush the love story of Padme and Anakin then maybe it would have been more believable and natural. I do think there were other important elements to this story that should have been focused on, but alas that’s not what happened.

I’m going to give Star Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Clones .